SMASH! With the sound of a ball cracking through a window pane, Dangerous begins. "One... two... three..." a few orchestra hits, then a crescendo... BLAM! The soundscape expands. A DJ's turntable scratches into the back-beat. We hear a dancer, breathlessly gasping for air, apparently busting moves in the studio, then Michael asking the world to come together, and JAM! The chorus hits. Within 60 seconds, a boy from Taita had become a dancer.

The music video that accompanied this track combined everything that was cool about the world. Michael Jordan, Michael Jackson (I was devastated that my name did not also share their 'MJ' initials... I was convinced that one needed them to make it big, I mean Magic Johnson also had the same combination...), Evil Dead styled camera moves, jump rope, silhouettes, basketball, SLAM DUNKS (which is what "Jam" is slang for in this sense), break-dancing, rapping, empty warehouses, larceny. As a youngster in 1991 there was no possible way anyone could top that amount of awesomeness.

A year or so later I was enrolled in a local dance school. For the remaining 12 months I watched, re-watched, and re-re-watched my few taped instances of The Moonwalk. I studied that move every afternoon. Jam would play in the background as I leaned up against the wall, arms outstretched, pressing my weight there, allowing my legs to achieve the weightlessness I thought was necessary to 'float' like my musical hero. Weeks passed, countless hours rustling the carpet, pilling it. I soon found out the best results would eventuate in the stretch of the kitchen that had linoleum, while wearing socks. Entire seasons passed, I still hadn't mastered it, I wasn't coming close. Then one night... it came to me in a dream. I suddenly understood. Magically. There was a formula to it. I had to use one foot as leverage, while the other moved. Then they swapped. It was so simple I couldn't believe it.

At dance warm-ups a week later, in a class filled with prima-dona 7-year olds, I debuted my newfound skills. While everyone else was stretching, mucking about, chit-chatting idly, I effortlessly glided from end of the room to the other. Jaws dropped. My dance teacher asked me to lead the remainder of that lesson. From that point onwards we shared choreography duties. Eventually she persuaded my folks that I needed private tuition, entries into competitions, exams.

That year I came third in a Lower Hutt dance-off, where I faced off against people twice my age. It was a day I'll remember forever. Typical weather, drowsy, like so many of my memories, nothing about the exterior of my city said "dance" but I did it anyway. Check out my look, pretty nuts for such a young kid, trouser-suspenders, sequined hat, parachute pants, a classic MJ pose, I had the image down. To top it off, I had the earnestness to look like I really meant every expression, every flick of the hand.

Jam was the song I danced to that day. I wish I had it on video, but because I don't I'll have to describe what I remember. It opened, as the song does, with a SMASH! I liked to think the song was punctuated with the "wham! bam! biff! sock!" moments from my favourite comic books. Consequently, the only appropriate way I could think of to open the song was a full-on knee slide from one side of the Lower Hutt Town Hall stage to the other. I had to wait in the wings for an eternity while some lame-oh ballet dancer pirouetted awkwardly from leg to leg. When she was cleared, I sprung into action, energy bottled up and ready to explode. 3 straight meters, from stage-right to stage-left, all on my knees, in a little under 1 second. Epic.

From there it was up, aggressive hand movements, fists flying, as my feet travelled the 'box step' (where you, essentially, walk the perimeter of an imaginary square). The New Jack Swing style was in full force from that point onwards. Have you heard of that genre? It's under-recognised as being a major influence on 90s music. There's an awesome montage available on Youtube for viewing. According to Wikipedia at the time of writing, the style "uses mellifluously soulful solo or harmonizing vocals sung over rhythms and "street" beats derived from urban musical influences." That brought out the best in me. Mid-way through the song I grabbed my hat, threw it behind me, moonwalked back to pick it up, put it on my head facing front-wards, turned it around again so it was facing backwards, then spun a 720-degree turn and rotated the hat to the sides. I then dropped to my knees and BLAM! the song ended. Massive applause, and a performance that I've yet to top. I was 7.

My winnings bought me a cassette of Thriller, from Deka (if I recall correctly, might be wrong) a little later that afternoon. Jam was responsible for a massive change in my life. It gave me inspiration to take on challenges I would never have thought possible to achieve. Made me get a basketball hoop for the next Christmas and then spend an entire year trying to score a goal with my back-turned (not realising MJ used a special effect in his video... ha...) The song taught me I could entertain. Most importantly though... it was damn cool. Still is.